A friend of mine is in a marriage where the husband preaches that in Islam,
1)The husband is the "King" of the household.
2)His duty is solely to provide for the financial needs of the family.
3) The wife and children cannot question his decisions or ask where he is going or why he needs to go out.
4) The wife must be obedient to her husband and serve him well.
5) The wife cannot go any where, even to get groceries, without the husband's permission.
6) the wife cannot answer back her husband in a defiant or reproachful manner.
So every day, my friend is cooped in the house... her husband comes home from work, spends about an hour at home ... then he goes out... and returns very late at night or in the early mornings and this happens every day of the week.. and on weekends he refuses to bring the family out saying he is too tired and just wants to laze at home...
If the wifes questions where he goes or what he does... she will be reproached as being a bad muslim wife...
The wife is highly educated with a U degree.. was holding a top managerial post befor marriage...but now has become subservient when she became a Muslim wife...
Is this correct ???
Whether in a Muslim or non Muslim marriage, I feel RESENTMENT ... is one of the main cause of relationships drifting apart.. ..specially resentment that has been harboured for too long.
It starts as a dissapointment...
If nothing is done about it, it turns to disgust....
Then, if still left unattended, it turns to anger ....
And if no effort is made to discuss or voice the matter out, then it becomes irreversible and by that time the couple would have drifted too far apart to hope for reconciliation... for by then they would have become like strangers to each other...
Happy are the couples who can be frank and open with each other .. who are able to view adverse comments constructively and not let their ego get in the way...
No hope for the couples in a relationship where the husband insists superiority at all times .. and worse still .. when he says that he did not make the rules.. Islam made the rules for the husband !!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
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A friend of mine is in a marriage where the husband preaches that in Islam,
1)The husband is the "King" of the household.
2)His duty is solely to provide for the financial needs of the family.
3) The wife and children cannot question his decisions or ask where he is going or why he needs to go out.
4) The wife must be obedient to her husband and serve him well.
5) The wife cannot go any where, even to get groceries, without the husband's permission.
6) the wife cannot answer back her husband in a defiant or reproachful manner.
So every day, my friend is cooped in the house... her husband comes home from work, spends about an hour at home ... then he goes out... and returns very late at night or in the early mornings and this happens every day of the week.. and on weekends he refuses to bring the family out saying he is too tired and just wants to laze at home...
If the wifes questions where he goes or what he does... she will be reproached as being a bad muslim wife...
The wife is highly educated with a U degree.. was holding a top managerial post befor marriage...but now has become subservient when she became a Muslim wife...
Is this correct ???
Whether in a Muslim or non Muslim marriage, I feel RESENTMENT ... is one of the main cause of relationships drifting apart.. ..specially resentment that has been harboured for too long.
It starts as a dissapointment...
If nothing is done about it, it turns to disgust....
Then, if still left unattended, it turns to anger ....
And if no effort is made to discuss or voice the matter out, then it becomes irreversible and by that time the couple would have drifted too far apart to hope for reconciliation... for by then they would have become like strangers to each other...
Happy are the couples who can be frank and open with each other .. who are able to view adverse comments constructively and not let their ego get in the way...
No hope for the couples in a relationship where the husband insists superiority at all times .. and worse still .. when he says that he did not make the rules.. Islam made the rules for the husband !!
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